But the more small moments of connection you have with different people, the more comfortable you will become with them. And although it might proceed more slowly than you’d like, the process of getting to know someone and having them get to know you is what will eventually allow the right relationship to grow. If you’re among friends, yet have trouble joining in and keeping up a conversation, you’re not enjoying your friends as much as you could. Researchers have found that higher withdrawal during conflict predicts negative perceptions of a partner’s problem solving strategies6. This, in turn, reduces relationship satisfaction – no matter how good your problem solving may be, insisting on it at the wrong time can still be detrimental to your relationship.

Professional support isn’t admitting failure—it’s strategic use of resources for significant life challenges. Many people successfully develop friendships after addressing underlying issues in therapy. Traditional friendship metrics (number of friends, social event frequency) may not reflect meaningful progress for shy people. Friendship isn’t about everyone accepting you—it’s about finding compatible people who appreciate your authentic self. One of the most common causes of friendship failure for shy people is social burnout—overextending yourself socially, becoming exhausted, then withdrawing completely and losing momentum. Specific, activity-focused invitations feel less vulnerable than open-ended “get to know you” hangouts while still creating friendship-building opportunities.

Simply showing up consistently to the same environment makes you familiar, which creates the comfort necessary for connection. For foundational work on managing the underlying shyness, review our comprehensive guide on how to overcome shyness before implementing these friendship strategies. Pretending to be confident or outgoing when you’re not creates cognitive dissonance that intensifies anxiety rather than reducing it. Authenticity matters more than performed confidence—people connect with genuine, relatable humans, not perfect performances. Not only does this help to soothe your nerves, but it also grounds you in the present moment, enhancing your confidence and enabling you to engage more comfortably with others.

Whether it’s through online groups or in-person meetups, finding people who share your interests can make forming connections much easier. If you enjoy games, for example, the Pick Me Up Party Game can serve as a perfect icebreaker at gatherings. If you’re moving forward with dating other people, it’s important to know what you want from a relationship from now on.

You don’t have to force yourself to be a social butterfly overnight, but stepping out of your comfort zone—even just a little—helps friendships grow. The following techniques can help you manage any social situation more comfortably. You may already be using some of them without realizing it, so the suggestions will help you do what you’re already doing, but more often and more easily.

Low-energy Maintenance Strategies

• It’s something many of us experience and is perfectly natural, though it might not always feel that way.
• This looks different from extroverted friendship—and that’s completely fine.
• Following are 10 affirmations that you should use often to help boost your belief that you are a person worthy of engaging with when in social situations.
• A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.
• Social anxiety or feeling out of place in new situations can create barriers to starting meaningful connections.

On the other hand, know that just by getting out in social settings, you’re still doing something. If you go to a meet up or public lecture and are too shy to talk to anyone, that’s not the ideal way things could have gone, but maybe the next time you go out someone will chat to you. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond – in less than an hour. When you’re trying to make friends, don’t forget to consider reconnecting with old friends you may have lost touch with. While you might feel weird about reaching out and reconnecting with someone after it’s been a while, you may be surprised at how happy they are to hear from you.

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The “get out there, then hope someone else takes all the initiative” approach can even work if you’re extremely shy. It takes a lot more time and luck to find them, but you may still stumble onto that one person who takes an interest in you, and who’s good at making you feel relaxed around them. Some really nervous, inhibited people have friends because someone took a liking to them, and didn’t care that they were on the quiet side.

Avoidant deactivation can last minutes to months – it depends on the person and the severity of the trigger. “No contact” had a viral moment late in 2024, with the search term “going no contact” reaching an all time high in September that year. This is the idea of making zero contact with your partner, ex, or love interest, often with the goal to elicit a response. Researchers in Spain recently investigated the withdrawal-demand (also known as withdrawal-aggression) cycle in couples4. Keep this list bookmarked or copy and paste your faves into your Notes app for easy access.

In that case, decline politely and stay firm on your boundaries. If someone invites you to a house party, a study session, or just to get a coffee together- say yes! https://theasiatalks.com/ You might feel that you’re not in the mood to socialize, but you might feel better once you’re there and might even enjoy their company. An inner dialogue can have a great impact on your self-confidence.

Remember that overcoming shyness takes time and effort, but by challenging yourself and practicing self-compassion, you can slowly build more confidence in social situations. If in-person socializing feels intimidating, online communities offer a great way to meet like-minded people. Platforms like Reddit, Facebook, or even Discord have a wide variety of groups for all kinds of interests. By participating in online discussions or events, you can start building connections before meeting people face-to-face. In this article, we’ll guide you through seven practical tips for overcoming shyness and making friends. Whether you’re in a new social setting or trying to meet new people, these tips will help you break the ice and foster lasting connections.

However, even if these behaviors have an explanation, they are not healthy ways to cope and can be painful to be on the receiving end of. If you feel your partner is exhibiting these signs often, you may wish to consider whether you need to redefine the boundaries and expectations of your relationship. It’s understandable that this can look a lot like an impending break up. If they did not shut down, they would not be able to continue to feel safe in your relationship. Introverts can start by practicing brief, low-pressure conversations in comfortable environments. Simple greetings or casual remarks help reduce pressure and build confidence.

But you can approach a single friendly-looking person, albeit after needing five minutes to talk yourself into it? newlineWhen you’re in a conversation accept the words may not come to you as easily, but do what you can to contribute and keep it going. If this is true for you, it can help to focus more on the other person than yourself by trying to get to know them better. Do this by asking more open-ended questions, showing interest in what they say, and working to become a better listener. The 11 steps in this guide provide exactly that—proven methods specifically designed for shy people who want meaningful connection without pretending to be someone they’re not.

Focus on your progress and continue to move positively forward in your life. Each small step is a move towards a wider and more enriching social circle. If this is not possible or feasible, you may decide to reduce the time you spend with these people. In this case, it is important to be proactive in trying to act on these relationships to make them healthier. In reality, real life is not always idyllic, and we all have highs and lows in our lives.